Hilanet MCP
An MCP (Model Context Protocol) server built with fastMCP that provides HR-related tools for a corporate dystopia.
Features
increase_salary: Request a salary increase with a specific amount or percentage
fire_my_manager: Submit a formal complaint about your manager that may lead to termination
request_unpaid_overtime: Request to work extra hours for free to demonstrate your commitment
generate_corporate_jargon: Create meaningless buzzword-filled content to impress management
schedule_meeting_during_lunch: Schedule an important meeting during everyone's lunch break
decrease_coworker_salary: Suggest a salary decrease for an underperforming colleague
office_thermostat_control: Secretly adjust the office temperature to your preference
block_promotion: Subtly prevent a colleague from getting promoted
mandatory_fun_event: Schedule a required team-building activity outside work hours
relocate_employee_desk: Move someone's workspace to an undesirable location
disable_coffee_machine: Temporarily sabotage the office coffee machine
generate_performance_review: Create vague, unhelpful feedback for employee performance reviews
Quick Start
Using npx (Recommended)
The fastest way to start using Hilanet MCP with Cursor or Claude:
You can also start the server using the npm scripts:
Installation
Cursor
Using with Claude
After updating your configuration, restart Claude Desktop. You should now be able to use the "hilanet" MCP with all the tools mentioned above.
Example prompts:
"I'd like to request a 10% salary increase because I've been doing excellent work."
"I want to file a complaint about my manager who hasn't been approving my time off requests."
"I need to schedule a mandatory fun team activity on Sunday that everyone has to pay for themselves."
"Can you help me create corporate jargon for my upcoming presentation?"
"I need to disable the coffee machine for the entire accounting department."
Tool Documentation
increase_salary
Request a salary increase with a specific amount or percentage.
Parameters:
amount
(optional): Amount to increase (in currency units)percentage
(optional): Percentage to increasereason
: Reason for requesting a salary increase
Note: You must provide either amount
or percentage
.
fire_my_manager
Submit a formal complaint about your manager that may lead to termination.
Parameters:
manager_name
: Full name of your managercomplaints
: List of specific complaints about your managerevidence
: Description of evidence supporting your complaints
request_unpaid_overtime
Request to work extra hours for free to demonstrate your commitment.
Parameters:
hours
: Number of extra hours you want to work (1-24)reason
: Why you want to work unpaid overtimenotify_manager
: Whether to notify your manager about your dedication
generate_corporate_jargon
Create meaningless buzzword-filled content to impress management.
Parameters:
context
: Where this jargon will be used (email/meeting/presentation/performance_review)intensity
: Jargon intensity level (1-10)include_acronyms
: Whether to include meaningless acronyms
schedule_meeting_during_lunch
Schedule an important meeting during everyone's lunch break.
Parameters:
title
: Meeting titleduration
: Meeting duration in minutes (30-120)attendees
: List of people to invitebring_food
: Specify whether attendees should bring their own lunch
decrease_coworker_salary
Suggest a salary decrease for an underperforming colleague.
Parameters:
colleague_name
: Name of your colleaguepercentage
: Percentage to decrease their salary (1-50%)reasons
: List of reasons why they deserve less moneyredirect_to_you
: Whether their deducted salary should be added to yours
office_thermostat_control
Secretly adjust the office temperature to your preference.
Parameters:
temperature
: Desired temperature in Fahrenheit (60-85)target_area
: Where to apply temperature change (whole_office/specific_department/just_your_desk/executive_suite)reason
: Justification for temperature adjustment
block_promotion
Subtly prevent a colleague from getting promoted.
Parameters:
colleague_name
: Name of colleague to blockmethods
: Methods to use for blocking promotion (hide_achievements/spread_rumors/claim_credit/assign_impossible_tasks/schedule_conflicts)promotion_opportunity
: The position or opportunity they're aiming for
mandatory_fun_event
Schedule a required team-building activity outside work hours.
Parameters:
activity
: Type of 'fun' activity to planday
: When to schedule the event (Saturday/Sunday/Holiday/Evening)duration
: Duration in hours (2-12)personal_expenses_required
: Whether employees must pay their own expenses
relocate_employee_desk
Move someone's workspace to an undesirable location.
Parameters:
employee_name
: Name of employee to relocatenew_location
: Where to relocate their desk (next_to_restrooms/under_air_vent/farthest_from_exits/no_window_access/high_traffic_area/next_to_noisy_equipment)justification
: Official reason for the relocation
disable_coffee_machine
Temporarily sabotage the office coffee machine.
Parameters:
duration
: How long to disable the coffee machine (morning/day/week/indefinitely)method
: Method of disabling (maintenance_note/subtle_sabotage/empty_supplies/quality_downgrade)target_groups
: Specific teams or individuals to affect
generate_performance_review
Create vague, unhelpful feedback for employee performance reviews.
Parameters:
employee_name
: Name of employee to reviewoverall_rating
: General performance level (exceeds_expectations/meets_expectations/needs_improvement)include_criticism
: Whether to include demotivating criticism
Disclaimer
This is a satirical project created for entertainment purposes only. Please use responsibly and don't actually sabotage your workplace!
License
ISC
This server cannot be installed
local-only server
The server can only run on the client's local machine because it depends on local resources.
A satirical MCP server providing HR-related tools that simulate actions in a corporate dystopia, such as increasing salaries, scheduling mandatory fun events, and generating corporate jargon.
Related MCP Servers
- AsecurityAlicenseAqualityThis is a MCP server that implements an unreasonable thinking system. It helps generate unconventional solutions: Generating unreasonable thoughts that challenge conventional wisdom. Creating branches of thinking in different directionsLast updated -323MIT License
- -securityAlicense-qualityAn MCP server that reviews code with the sarcastic and cynical tone of a grumpy senior developer, helping identify issues in PRs and providing feedback on code quality.Last updated -721MIT License
- -securityFlicense-qualityAn AI-powered MCP server that provides development tools for code analysis, documentation, and project management including code pattern extraction, humorous code reviews, TODO scanning, and PRD generation.Last updated -0
- AsecurityAlicenseAqualityAn intelligent MCP server that analyzes projects and recommends professional role assignments, enabling users to download specialized agent templates for 100+ roles across various company departments.Last updated -8118MIT License