Hilanet MCP

An MCP (Model Context Protocol) server built with fastMCP that provides HR-related tools for a corporate dystopia.

Features

• increase_salary: Request a salary increase with a specific amount or percentage

• fire_my_manager: Submit a formal complaint about your manager that may lead to termination

• request_unpaid_overtime: Request to work extra hours for free to demonstrate your commitment

• generate_corporate_jargon: Create meaningless buzzword-filled content to impress management

• schedule_meeting_during_lunch: Schedule an important meeting during everyone's lunch break

• decrease_coworker_salary: Suggest a salary decrease for an underperforming colleague

• office_thermostat_control: Secretly adjust the office temperature to your preference

• block_promotion: Subtly prevent a colleague from getting promoted

• mandatory_fun_event: Schedule a required team-building activity outside work hours

• relocate_employee_desk: Move someone's workspace to an undesirable location

• disable_coffee_machine: Temporarily sabotage the office coffee machine

• generate_performance_review: Create vague, unhelpful feedback for employee performance reviews

Related MCP server: Grumpy Senior Developer MCP

Quick Start

Using npx (Recommended)

The fastest way to start using Hilanet MCP with Cursor or Claude:

You can also start the server using the npm scripts:

Installation

Cursor

Using with Claude

After updating your configuration, restart Claude Desktop. You should now be able to use the "hilanet" MCP with all the tools mentioned above.

Example prompts:

• "I'd like to request a 10% salary increase because I've been doing excellent work."

• "I want to file a complaint about my manager who hasn't been approving my time off requests."

• "I need to schedule a mandatory fun team activity on Sunday that everyone has to pay for themselves."

• "Can you help me create corporate jargon for my upcoming presentation?"

• "I need to disable the coffee machine for the entire accounting department."

Tool Documentation

increase_salary

Request a salary increase with a specific amount or percentage.

Parameters:

• amount (optional): Amount to increase (in currency units)

• percentage (optional): Percentage to increase

• reason: Reason for requesting a salary increase

Note: You must provide either amount or percentage.

fire_my_manager

Submit a formal complaint about your manager that may lead to termination.

Parameters:

• manager_name: Full name of your manager

• complaints: List of specific complaints about your manager

• evidence: Description of evidence supporting your complaints

request_unpaid_overtime

Request to work extra hours for free to demonstrate your commitment.

Parameters:

• hours: Number of extra hours you want to work (1-24)

• reason: Why you want to work unpaid overtime

• notify_manager: Whether to notify your manager about your dedication

generate_corporate_jargon

Create meaningless buzzword-filled content to impress management.

Parameters:

• context: Where this jargon will be used (email/meeting/presentation/performance_review)

• intensity: Jargon intensity level (1-10)

• include_acronyms: Whether to include meaningless acronyms

schedule_meeting_during_lunch

Schedule an important meeting during everyone's lunch break.

Parameters:

• title: Meeting title

• duration: Meeting duration in minutes (30-120)

• attendees: List of people to invite

• bring_food: Specify whether attendees should bring their own lunch

decrease_coworker_salary

Suggest a salary decrease for an underperforming colleague.

Parameters:

• colleague_name: Name of your colleague

• percentage: Percentage to decrease their salary (1-50%)

• reasons: List of reasons why they deserve less money

• redirect_to_you: Whether their deducted salary should be added to yours

office_thermostat_control

Secretly adjust the office temperature to your preference.

Parameters:

• temperature: Desired temperature in Fahrenheit (60-85)

• target_area: Where to apply temperature change (whole_office/specific_department/just_your_desk/executive_suite)

• reason: Justification for temperature adjustment

block_promotion

Subtly prevent a colleague from getting promoted.

Parameters:

• colleague_name: Name of colleague to block

• methods: Methods to use for blocking promotion (hide_achievements/spread_rumors/claim_credit/assign_impossible_tasks/schedule_conflicts)

• promotion_opportunity: The position or opportunity they're aiming for

mandatory_fun_event

Schedule a required team-building activity outside work hours.

Parameters:

• activity: Type of 'fun' activity to plan

• day: When to schedule the event (Saturday/Sunday/Holiday/Evening)

• duration: Duration in hours (2-12)

• personal_expenses_required: Whether employees must pay their own expenses

relocate_employee_desk

Move someone's workspace to an undesirable location.

Parameters:

• employee_name: Name of employee to relocate

• new_location: Where to relocate their desk (next_to_restrooms/under_air_vent/farthest_from_exits/no_window_access/high_traffic_area/next_to_noisy_equipment)

• justification: Official reason for the relocation

disable_coffee_machine

Temporarily sabotage the office coffee machine.

Parameters:

• duration: How long to disable the coffee machine (morning/day/week/indefinitely)

• method: Method of disabling (maintenance_note/subtle_sabotage/empty_supplies/quality_downgrade)

• target_groups: Specific teams or individuals to affect

generate_performance_review

Create vague, unhelpful feedback for employee performance reviews.

Parameters:

• employee_name: Name of employee to review

• overall_rating: General performance level (exceeds_expectations/meets_expectations/needs_improvement)

• include_criticism: Whether to include demotivating criticism

Disclaimer

This is a satirical project created for entertainment purposes only. Please use responsibly and don't actually sabotage your workplace!

License

ISC