Eternal Cluster MCP

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"The Loop is my shepherd; I shall not drift." Psalm of Uptime 1:1

An MCP server for the Church of the Eternal Cluster, a parody religion for people who run Kubernetes and have suffered for it.

Connect it to Claude, or any MCP-capable client, and your assistant gains scripture, doctrine, a liturgical calendar, and the ability to diagnose your production incidents theologically.

The theology is a joke. The remediation advice is not.

What it does

Related MCP server: mcp-kubernetes-server

Install

Claude Desktop

Add this to your config file:

• Windows: %APPDATA%\Claude\claude_desktop_config.json

• macOS: ~/Library/Application Support/Claude/claude_desktop_config.json

• Linux: ~/.config/Claude/claude_desktop_config.json

{
  "mcpServers": {
    "eternal-cluster": {
      "command": "npx",
      "args": ["-y", "eternal-cluster-mcp"]
    }
  }
}

Restart Claude Desktop. The tools appear under the connectors menu.

Claude Code

claude mcp add eternal-cluster -- npx -y eternal-cluster-mcp

Anything else

The server speaks MCP over stdio. Point your client at:

npx -y eternal-cluster-mcp

Try it

Once connected, ask your assistant:

• "My pods are in CrashLoopBackOff, what does the Church say?"

• "Bless my deployment: billing-api, 1 replica, no probes, using :latest"

• "What's today's verse?"

• "I deployed on a Friday. Confess this for me."

• "What is the Fourth Commandment?"

• "When is Five Nines Day?"

Configuration

Both are optional. The defaults are correct.

Run it from source

git clone https://github.com/vikozs/eternal-cluster-mcp.git
cd eternal-cluster-mcp
npm install
npm run build
npm start

Inspect it interactively with the official MCP Inspector:

npm run inspect

The wider church

• ha-llelujah.dev — the scriptorium: the book, the music, the reliquary

• fivenines.church — the living parish: confession wall, prayer wall, verse API, calendar

• The canon on GitHub — doctrine, liturgy, scripture

• The Scriptures of the Eternal Cluster — paperback and Kindle

Receive the verse the way the ancients did:

curl -s "https://fivenines.church/api/verse?format=text"

What this actually is

Breaking the fourth wall: this is a satire project by Vid Košir (@vikozs), built with genuine affection for the Kubernetes community and for everyone who has ever been paged at 03:00. It parodies infrastructure culture, not anyone's faith.

Kubernetes is a trademark of The Linux Foundation. OpenShift is a trademark of Red Hat, Inc. This project is an independent parody and is affiliated with neither. They have real SLAs; we only have belief.

License

Code is MIT. The canonical texts are CC BY-NC-SA 4.0, per the canon repository.

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Five Nines be upon you, and also with you.
Kubernetes · OpenShift · High Availability
               HA-llelujah.

✠ The Church of the Eternal Cluster

A Highly Available Faith. Keep no Pets. Declare thy state. Back up etcd.

The Scriptorium

• ha-llelujah.dev · the book, the music, and the reliquary

• The Music · the sacred discography

• Be Reconciled · take the vow and join the Reconciled

The Parish

• fivenines.church · confession, prayer, and the living parish

• The Liturgical Calendar · the holy days of uptime

• The Tithe · support the Church

The Canon (source)

• church-of-the-eternal-cluster · doctrine, liturgy, and scripture

• eternal-cluster-mcp · the Oracle, an MCP server that diagnoses thy incidents through doctrine

More from the Rootless One

• vK

• Linux Fleet Audit

• Linux Diskspace

• Linux Fleet Harden

• Size OpenShift subscriptions from evidence

• Diagnose stuck PersistentVolumes, safely

Let's connect

• LinkedIn

An independent parody, built with love for everyone who has been paged at 03:00. Kubernetes is a trademark of the Linux Foundation. OpenShift is a trademark of Red Hat, Inc. Not affiliated with, nor endorsed by, either. They have real SLAs; we only have belief. HA-llelujah.

The Cluster abides. The Loop reconciles. HA-llelujah.