Fetch a URL and report whether it is genuinely working: status, redirect chain, response time, and — the part people miss — how much visible text it actually renders. A page can return 200, weigh half a megabyte and still show a human nothing. Also reports title, meta description, viewport, canonical, og:image and a stray noindex. Use this right after a deploy.

Read every link on a page and check each one resolves. Uses HEAD first and falls back to GET for servers that refuse it, so a 405 is not mistaken for a dead link. Capped and rate-limited by default so it stays polite to the sites it touches.

Check two URLs and report where they differ: status, title, description, canonical, visible text length and byte size. This answers "did my deploy actually land?" — point it at staging and production, or at the same URL before and after a release. If both render identical text, the deploy has not reached the second one.